vlog and too much to do

I started another Youtube Channel because I can't seem to do just one of anything.

(link)

Now it seems that I have too much of everything and I want to get rid of it all.

Everything.

The two cats, the apartment, the husband, the job, the body, all my hobbies, my clothes--everything.

What I really need to do is unplug from my life. I keep having the severe urge to start over, but my rational self is pulling against the emotional self that wants to fly out the door. Be rational, now, be rational. Don't just go and leave...what you need to do is re-connect, because you just don't know yourself enymore.

It's so true. I don't know who I am.

I remember having a feeling like this when I was 15...and I expressed what I could of it to a friend of mine after my birthday party. He asked me if I was on drugs. I laughed, assuming he was joking, and then he asked again, totally serious, and I never brought it up again...until college where I found plenty of people who took esoteric, psychological suject matter seriously.

I eventually learned one of the best psychological defenses I can have is a sense of humor. I think I have effectively laughed twice in the past four months. No wonder I'm depleted...

Hopefully my new vlog can add tome laughter to the universe and it will come back to me multiplied.